Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
