My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
