I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
it was like having sex with a tree stump
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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