barbara walters just said penis...
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Drake has all the answers
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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