So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
