I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
