I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize