Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
