someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
