I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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