This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
