everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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