4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
