She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
