McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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