D3 body, D1 cock
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
