just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
