youre lurking in front of me
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
