she was so not down for the gang bang
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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