12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize