i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Randomize
