whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
