Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
