it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
