I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
