Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
