We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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