Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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