i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
