If that was your dad, he is hot
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
