My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
