when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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