Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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