I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
