Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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