1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
