Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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