Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
