I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Randomize