I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I cut my penus on the lid.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
