I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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