Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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