Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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