is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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