I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
