My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
