I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
