its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
