I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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