he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
