I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize