it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Randomize
