Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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