Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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