I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
