There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
