I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
