I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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