Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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