i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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