Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
