His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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