You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
