I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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