i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
