if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
