So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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