Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
