it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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