is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
