Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Randomize
