What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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