the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
